Fear of judgment can have the power to stop people right in their tracks. It’s always been a presence—particularly when viewed through the lens of religion. In the digital age, however, judging has become far too common. Especially when hiding behind the anonymity of the internet, there seem to be critics lurking everywhere.
With this as a backdrop, it’s not hard to imagine someone who is gender fluid feeling the need to tread lightly. How challenging it is to live in a society that doesn’t understand you or your identity. Fortunately, there are ways to live, explore, and thrive—despite all the self-appointed judges.
What is Gender Fluidity?
Let’s begin with a brief refresher on the terminology. To be gender fluid is a declaration that you don’t believe in a gender binary. Gender is different from biological sex. It exists on a spectrum, and no one is obligated to conform to any particular spot. A gender-fluid person does not view their identity as a singular, permanent location on this spectrum. Their gender is not fixed.
Another word commonly used to describe this position is “genderqueer.” Also, please note that gender fluidity does not imply that the individual is “going through a phase.” Rather, it adheres to one of the long-accepted definitions of the word “fluid.”
5 Ways to Explore Gender Fluidity Without Fear of Judgment
1. Unlearn Conventional Perceptions
It is impossible to be 100 percent to societal conditioning. Regardless of how different or rebellious you are, you live within a culture that enforces norms. Therefore, examining your own beliefs, biases, and preconceptions can be a powerful start. Since gender is a social construct, give yourself permission to learn more about its roots and influences. This will help you preempt some of the judgment.
2. Clarify Your Perspectives on Gender
As you unlearn what the mainstream imposes, it helps to begin a self-exploration. What do you believe, think, and feel about gender? Clarify, at least for now, how you feel about such topics as:
- The definition of gender.
- How many genders are there and why?
- Traits you associate with different genders.
- What do words like “masculinity” and “femininity” mean to you?
- The existence of a gender binary.
- What do you fear being judged about as you explore your gender fluidity?
- What do you look forward to?
3. Name Your Feelings
Following up on the last two bulleted items in #2 above, a lot of this process comes down to emotions. What do you feel and why? Specific to gender fluidity, what makes you feel as you do? What attracts you to this identity and path?
4. Find Your Tribe
Exploring gender fluidity is not a solo act. Yes, of course, you must be discerning as to who you open up to. But, between in-person options and online groups, you will find many kindred spirits. These individuals and groups can be instrumental in your relationship with judgment.
5. Take Risks—At Your Own Pace
You cannot control the behavior of others. You can control your response to such behaviors. Little by little, in the name of living a more authentic life, you’ll need to express what’s in your heart and soul. Can this be scary at times? Yes. Will it be liberating? It can be the path to true freedom. Lean on your support system, trust your instincts, and move forward.
It Helps to Have Professional Support
There is no single road map or blueprint for exploring gender fluidity. That’s why so many people walking a similar path seek the support of a therapist who understands. I invite you to reach out to connect and talk.
