The holidays are finally here. For many, that means more family get-togethers and events. While that can be comforting for some, it can create added stress during the season for others. Whether you enjoy the holidays or not, there’s no denying it’s a stressful time of year. When you have strained or unhealthy adult sibling relationships, that stress can worsen.
It might be easy to “avoid” your siblings at other times of the year, but it’s nearly impossible when everyone is getting together to celebrate the season. Sound familiar? Are you already dreading going to your family’s Christmas gathering? If so, let’s talk about how you can deal with the added stress of adult sibling relationships during the holidays. Navigating those relationships in healthy, effective ways will make the season so much easier.
Prioritize Self-Care
One of the best things you can do this time of year is to practice self-care as often as possible. You should be doing it year-round, but it’s especially important during times of stress. If you’re already worried about the stress of the season, start practicing self-care now. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or expensive. Self-care can be as simple as eating a healthy diet, exercising, prioritizing sleep, and finding ways to de-stress. Consider activities like mindfulness and meditation to improve your mental state and let go of stressors out of your control.
Focus On What You Can Control
Speaking of things that are out of your control, try to stop giving them so much strength. You can’t control how your siblings might act when you see them. You can’t control their behaviors or what they’ll say. Often, you might not even be able to control certain situations with your entire family getting together.
However, you can control your behaviors. You decide whether to go to certain locations, how long to stay, and who you want to interact with. It’s also up to you to decide how to respond if your siblings say something that offends you. When you focus on things outside your control, you’re only adding to your stress levels, which can become very frustrating. Instead, choose to look at what’s within your power. It will help you to feel calmer, more centered, and less stressed.
Get to the Root of the Issue
The holidays are generally a time of togetherness. However, if you have issues with your adult siblings, you might want to use this time together to get to the root of the problem(s). No, that might not sound like a “warm and fuzzy idea,” but if you’re dreading the season and you’ve had problems during past holidays, why not do what you can to put the issues to rest?
Consider connecting with your siblings before any big family get-togethers. Talk about any issues you might be dealing with. Maybe your problems stem from childhood. Perhaps they started later in life. Whatever the case, sweeping things under the rug will never improve them. It probably won’t be an easy conversation. But, getting to the root cause of any issue is often necessary to truly start the healing process.
Put Yourself First
While the holidays can be great for getting together with family members, you shouldn’t have to compromise your mental health to be around your siblings. If you have a strained relationship, consider limiting your time around them or saying “no” to certain events for the sake of your mental well-being.
If you want to spend time with your siblings but are worried about all of the stress it can cause, don’t hesitate to contact me through this website or you can book an appointment. Reaching out to a mental health professional is a great way to get to the bottom of your sibling issues. Doing so can offer you more insight into your relationships, and make it easier to handle stressful situations with them as you go forward.
