Orange County Family Therapy

Is Your Family Life Out Of Control?

Are you worried about the wellbeing of members of your family and/or your family as a whole? Does family life feel increasingly chaotic and hard to manage? You might have a child who is being disrespectful, using drugs, failing in school or not coming home at night. Maybe you have a depressed or mentally ill family member. Or, perhaps someone in your household is suffering from a disease or physical ailment that requires everyone to help out. Do you feel like you don’t have an equal say in what happens in your home? Are you having marital problems that are impacting the family dynamic? Do you wish you could all get along together, support each other and feel close and connected?

Almost All Families Bump Up Against Challenges

Numerous life circumstances can upset a family dynamic. Often, families come in because they have one or more teenage children who are acting out or breaking family rules. Your child may be getting bad grades in school (or skipping school entirely), bullying, engaging in promiscuity or being generally disrespectful. He or she may be depressed, anxious or angry no matter what you do. You may be wondering what happened to your sweet and obedient youngster and where this rebellious, moody and lethargic teenager came from. And, you may feel powerless because you don’t know how to help your child.

Marital discontent is another source of family tension. You may feel like you aren’t an equal partner in your marriage or relationship. Your might think your partner is too controlling or doesn’t appreciate all the hard work it takes to keep the household running smoothly. When mom and dad aren’t getting along, it’s glaringly obvious to the children, even if you think it isn’t. Parental division lets kids know they can manipulate the system, which only leads to more problems.

Perhaps you have a family member with a mental or physical illness that requires time and effort on everyone’s part to deal with. Whether the afflicted family member is having a “good day” or a “bad day” affects the whole family. On good days, you may feel a little more hopeful. But, depending on the frequency of the bad days, it can feel like your family is always in crisis mode. Remember, it is often difficult for adults to deal with these kinds of circumstances, and it’s even harder on children. Their brains are not fully developed yet, and they aren’t capable of the same level of reasoning skills that adults are.

When one family member is struggling, he or she may get more attention than the others. This can make other family members feel ignored or unimportant, and perpetuate other underlying issues. It may breed resentment or anger, which, if left unaddressed, can fester for years.

If your family is experiencing discontent, you are not alone. The good news is that with the help of an experienced, compassionate therapist, you and your family can work through challenging issues and create more harmony in your home.

Family Therapy Can Help You Understand Each Other Better

Almost every family goes through a transition or crisis at some point. There are births, deaths, marriages, illnesses and countless other circumstances that affect the interpersonal relationships within a family system. Family therapy can be a useful tool during these times. In family therapy sessions, I can help you all listen to and respect each other’s feelings in a calm environment, so you can observe what that feels and looks like. During our time together, everyone has an equal voice. Every person in the family is important and plays a vital role, not just one or two people.

Family therapy can also help you reconnect as a family on a spiritual and emotional level. There are things you can do to create more closeness, such as having meals together or scheduling time for fun activities or trips as a family. Family is a place where you should feel safe and connected, but this doesn’t come as naturally for some families as it does others. Just like a successful marriage takes effort, a successful family does, too. Establishing family time from the get-go is an important first step to creating a tighter bond with your loved ones.

I’ve worked with hundreds of families over the years, and have seen some common threads that connect them. First, how you feel and react directly affects your family members. Also, many people think their family members could never understand or relate to what they are going through—but your family might surprise you if you give them a chance! Finally, it’s important to share your struggles with one another. As a unit you can support and empower each other in ways you haven’t even thought of.

Supporting Families When Adult Children Return Home

Many families seek family therapy during periods of transition, especially when an adult child returns to the family home and long established roles begin to shift. What often starts as temporary support can evolve into ongoing stress, conflict, and uncertainty for parents and the household as a whole.

Parents may struggle with setting boundaries, staying aligned with one another, or knowing how to support their adult child without unintentionally enabling patterns that keep everyone stuck. These situations are emotionally complex and rarely have simple answers.

Families navigating this dynamic often benefit from understanding how to set boundaries while preserving connection. You can explore this further in our guide on supporting families when adult children move back home, which offers insight into common challenges and supportive next steps.