As we grow up, we learn so much about love and relationships through fairy tales and romantic stories. But, a couple with healthy boundaries is indeed a true fairy tale. Being a soulmate is not about having unlimited 24/7 access to your partner. Instead, a healthy relationship always strives to strike a balance. This is where boundaries come into play.
Healthy boundaries help create healthy limits. These limits can be emotional, psychological, or physical. Think of them as a way to show mutual respect and demonstrate a desire to keep evolving. Setting boundaries can be tricky, but it gets easier with practice.
Common Examples of Healthy Relationship Boundaries
- Independence: You each have a rich life beyond the parameters of the relationship.
- Safety: You feel safe being vulnerable and sharing feelings.
- Communication: Both of you can and do clearly communicate your needs and wants.
Here are two examples of how to put the above concepts into action:
Privacy
You have the right to decide what you wish to share and when. This isn’t a license to lie or deceive. Rather, it is a rejection of something like secretly checking each other’s phones.
Alone Time
It’s not a statement about how much you love each other if one of you expresses a need for more alone time than the other. Thus, you work together to ensure quality alone time is built into your schedule.
Now, let’s get to the helpful suggestions!
4 Tips For Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationship
1. Take Time to Decide What is Important to You
Realistic boundaries cannot be set until you have a firm grasp on what you want and need. That’s not to say your wants and needs won’t change. But it is a vital starting point for this ongoing conversation. Take as much time as you need to compile your list. But keep in mind that you aren’t carving your boundaries into stone.
2. Hone Your Communication Skills
Partners and soulmates like to imagine that they are forever on the same wavelength. This can be true to a degree. But the wise choice is not to leave this to chance. Never assume that a boundary is set until it has been clearly and unambiguously stated. Commit to improving as a communicator—and this includes listening skills.
3. Expect Some Confusion
The goal is never perfection. Thus, be prepared for misunderstandings and misinterpretations. Being prepared means hearing all sides and staying focused on the big picture. These moments can be disconcerting but try to view them as opportunities to learn. Setting boundaries is a way for partners to dig deeper and discover more about each other.
4. Revisit Discussions
There is no finish line. This is an ongoing process, not a destination. Therefore, to combine all three of the above suggestions, you will need to embrace the revisiting of discussions:
- As touched on in #1, neither of you is required to set a permanent boundary. You both must have the latitude to shift, grow, and change.
- Following up on #2, communication is steady and open-ended.
- As touched on in #3, miscommunications are inevitable.
Therapy is a Great Way to Learn More About Boundaries
Pro tip: You’re not required to figure all of this out on your own. For example, what’s the best course of action when you feel your boundaries are being disrespected? The path just may lead you to try couples therapy. In the presence of a skilled and unbiased guide, the maze of boundary-setting can become much smoother to navigate.
If you and your partner wish to deepen your bond and take things to a higher level, I invite you to reach out today.
