We’ve all heard the saying that the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. But what if someone you love can’t or won’t admit he or she has a problem that requires professional help? How can you encourage this person to seek therapy?
The first thing to do is to avoid asking him if he’s “considered seeing a therapist?” This usually evokes a negative reaction on his part, causing him to either feel worse about himself, act defensively, or both. While you may think you’re offering a kind suggestion, your loved one is likely to interpret this to mean that you are tired of listening to or dealing with him. You may lose his confidence going forward, which would make you even less able to help.
Why is seeking help so important?
According to psychiatrist and author Dr. Mark S. Komrad, MD, research shows that mental illness makes daily life much harder than physical conditions generally do. How much more difficult? The Centre for Economic Performance’s Mental Health Policy Group says that a person who suffers from depression is “at least 50 percent more disabled than someone with angina, arthritis, or diabetes.”
Treatments for mental illnesses tend to be highly effective. Yet only one out of three people will actually look to professional help. A 2009 study published by Psychiatry Services suggests that those who need help the most are the least likely to seek it.
Why is it so difficult?
There are many reasons why people may fail to or avoid seeking therapy. While cost is one issue, therapy is covered under many insurance plans. Perhaps the most significant reason lies with stigma surrounding mental health issues. Many people believe, at least subconsciously, that therapy is for “crazy people,” and therefore it can’t be for them. They don’t want to appear weak to others, or to themselves, by reaching out for help. And of course, many people who suffer from mental illness don’t believe they are unwell. That’s why it is so important for friends and family to help encourage their loved one to seek therapy.
What can you do?
Try leading by example
It can be scary to see a therapist for the first time if you don’t know what to expect. If you’re encouraging a loved one to seek therapy, share any experience you or people you know well may have had. You might also consider making an appointment for yourself to help encourage your friend to follow suit. Even if he or she doesn’t make an appointment of his or her own, the therapist can suggest ways you can help.
Be there
Offer to accompany your loved one to the therapist, especially the first time. When you’re stressed about a new experience, having someone there who cares about you can make it easier to deal with all the aspects of the visit, starting with the basics like finding the office and talking to the receptionist. If you’ve spent the last chunk of time baring your soul to someone you don’t know, albeit a professional, it is comforting to have a familiar face waiting to accompany you home. If you cannot make every session with your loved one, don’t beat yourself up about it, but be sure to let her know you’re available to talk after.
Money matters
Even though insurance does help cover therapy costs, it may not cover enough, or your loved one may not have insurance. If you don’t have the out of pocket money to cover all the costs, what you might be able to offer helps. If neither of you drives, offer to help out with public transport, for example.
