Every parent feels some anxiety as their child becomes a teen. Changes are coming fast and furious. They may involve physical, emotional, and hormonal shifts. This normal parental anticipation is amplified if your child is on the autistic spectrum. Teen rebellion is to be expected.
How will that play out for a child who is already dealing with behavioral control? The parent of a typical teen might focus on high school realities like academics and dating. For your teen on the spectrum, this holds true. However, you may also struggle with issues like hygiene. How can you guide and support your child through these experiences?
What It Means to Be a Teen “On the Spectrum”?
The term “on the spectrum” relates to autism spectrum disorder or ASD. The “spectrum” runs the full gamut of autism behaviors and developmental issues. For each person, there will be some form of impact in areas like:
- Communication
- Social skills
- Emotional interactions
- Intellectual capacities
- Sensory preferences
For a teenager, this could manifest in countless ways. One child may be less likely to “get” a joke. For others, sensory issues could make basic hygiene like showering or shaving feel uncomfortable. Therefore, it’s important to get your child assessed. Such an evaluation will help you better understand their needs. In turn, this makes it easier to support them.
How to Guide & Support A Teen on the Spectrum
Executive Functioning
Your teen’s responsibility checklist is growing and they may require assistance. You can help them initiate this process. Then, depending on their specific needs, you may chip in to support them as they learn to plan and organize their days.
As you well know, the demands multiply when they enter high school, e.g. a variety of academic assignments from class to class. Teachers expect more of their students with each passing year. Overall, teachers and administrators may offer less support in an effort to encourage independence. For your teen, this can initially feel catastrophic. They will need you to be there for them as they adjust to this major change.
Hygiene
It’s not unusual for some teens to take hygiene too lightly. This could be a form of rebellion or indifference, or something related to their friend group. For a teen on the spectrum, it is essential that you find out why they seem reluctant to take showers or brush their teeth. As mentioned above, it could have a sensory-based origin.
Social Life
This is the one area that may have you tossing and turning at night. Every parent wants their teen to fit in. Teens with ASD often struggle with this concept, at first. They may get bullied or simply left out of social circles. As much as this upsets you, keep the focus on positive solutions. It is especially useful to get some professional guidance of your own when it comes to this area (see below).
(Sometimes) Wipe the Slate Clean
Try not to allow stress to accumulate. Start off each day as an opportunity for progress. This is not to say you should let it slide if your child was rude or disobedient. The slate you’re wiping clean relates to setbacks your teen may have faced the day before. Let them know things can and will get better. Remind them that you’re there for them and believe in them — even when things get tough.
You May Need Your Own Guidance & Support
You want to be the best version of yourself in order to help your child. In addition, you want to safeguard your own emotional and physical health. That’s a tall order to take on alone. Please read more about family therapy and connect via consultation to talk about finding this balance.
