The dating world can be a difficult one to navigate — especially in the 21st century. While it’s easier than ever to meet new people and connect, it also opens up greater opportunities to get “ghosted.”
Dating apps, social media, and texting are all great ways to jump into the dating journey head first. But, they also can create communication issues and put you at a greater risk of either ghosting, gaslighting, or both.
Sound familiar?
If you’ve experienced ghosting and gaslighting in dating, what can you do? How can you cope and keep moving forward, prioritizing your mental health and well-being?
What Is Ghosting?
While the idea of ghosting isn’t really new, the term has seen a rise in popularity thanks to dating apps and social media. Ghosting can take many forms. Maybe someone tells you they will meet you for a date and never show up.
More commonly, however, it occurs when someone you’ve been dating or you’ve been interested in for a while stops talking to you without warning or explanation. They might even block you on social media accounts or from calling or texting.
Ghosting might seem like a “take a hint” practice, but it can be harmful to a person’s mental well-being. It might leave you wondering what you did wrong. It can be a major blow to your self-esteem. Unfortunately, it can also cause you to struggle with anxiety and depression, trying to fight back negative thoughts and self-talk that could push you to take a step back from the dating world.
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is certainly nothing new, and it’s often viewed as a form of abuse in romantic relationships. When someone you’re dating is able to twist words and convince you that things are always your fault. They try to make you feel at fault for everything that could possibly go wrong in your relationship.
Gaslighting can become so extreme that it can cause you to question yourself. You might start to believe the negative things being said about you. That, too, takes a toll on your mental health.
Sometimes, ghosting and gaslighting can intertwine. When that happens, it’s considered “ghostlighting.”
Ghostlighting occurs when someone ghosts you and then denies it. It can cause you to question where you went wrong or whether you’re actually responsible for someone ignoring you.
What Can You Do?
The first step in coping with gaslighting is to understand some of the common signs. They include things like:
- Obvious lies
- Frequent denials
- Projecting
- Confusion
- Using your friends, family, and interests against you
When you’re aware of some of the red flags of gaslighting, you can put a stop to it before it starts to seep into your self-esteem and sense of worth. When you’re sure it’s happening, speak up. Let the person you’re dating know that you’re not going to accept that kind of behavior. Be confident in the truth and about the events that really occur. Involve people from your support system as often as possible to remind yourself that you’re not alone.
When it comes to ghosting, how you cope depends on the situation. Sometimes, letting go of that person right away is the best thing you can do, especially if they’ve ghosted you more than once. It’s not worth the extra stress or anxiety to keep asking yourself why they’re ignoring you or leaving you high and dry.
Most importantly, practice self-care. If you’re being mistreated in any way, whether you’re in a serious relationship or you’ve just started dating someone, your mental and physical well-being should be your top priority. That might even include talking to a mental health professional. If you’re struggling with the effects of ghosting or gaslighting in dating, don’t hesitate to reach out for help, you can contact me through this website or you can book an appointment.
