Quality Time is a Relationship Must: 6 Ways to Get It

Sometimes the obvious point isn’t so obvious. So let’s re-state it: Quality time is necessary for any relationship. Staring at phones? Not quality. A brief peck on the cheek as you speed past each other while preparing yourselves for work? Again, the lack of quality is palpable.

Thanks to shifting economic realities and rapidly increasing technology, relationships may be evolving faster than we imagine. In the name of long-term compatibility, it’s essential that we all take stock and re-imagine our approach to quality time.

What is Quality Time?

This concept must be defined by each individual couple. But the general answer is basically this: Quality time is when growth happens. In addition, every couple needs quality time because:

• It’s when we do our most important communicating. Face to face connection time allows us to develop and evolve as communicators. This creates awareness of issues, concerns, and compatibilities before they become major problems.
• It’s an investment of sorts. What this means is that every couple faces stressful periods and/or times when life keeps us too busy for fun. Every moment of quality time creates a foundation that makes it easier for us to weather the inevitable storms.
• It’s where the memories happen. Five years from now, it’ll be something that happened during the quality time that you still talk about.

6 Ways to Get Quality Time In Your Relationship

1. Schedule it in

   How often do you leave priorities to chance? You plan your workouts, your meetings, your vacations, and more. In an ideal world, quality time would happen organically. In the real world, it requires planning and vision. But the results and rewards are well worth any effort.

2. Turn the mundane moments into quality!

   Since chores and errands are not negotiable, why not make them a couples activity? Who says doing laundry can’t be fun when you have a great conversation? Sweating together at the gym leaves plenty of room for shared experiences. Get creative and find ways to break the mold.

3. Revive the good old days

   What was a “fun night” when you were dating or were first married? Was there a location of choice? Did you go on double dates? There is no rule against updating what’s worked well in the past!

4. Create new ways to connect

   As individuals, we evolve. As a couple, we evolve. It only makes sense that our shared perception of “quality time” will evolve, too. Today’s version of your relationship is ready for some new ideas.

5. Re-imagine your vision of intimacy

   If intimacy is seen as mostly a single sex act, yes, it’s not always possible to make that happen in a quality way. But what if we expanded our definition of intimacy to match a non-porn reality? A gentle touch, shoulder massage, hand-holding while watching a movie, extended eye contact—the list is literally infinite.

6. Remove high tech distractions

   Quality time doesn’t happen over text, tweet, or chat. It also cannot happen if we have one eye on our smartphone screen all the time. When you’re scheduling the quality (see #1), do not hesitate to lay down some guidelines. Turning off your devices routinely is crucial.

Counseling Time Is Quality Time

We don’t often perceive a couples therapy session as an outing. This misperception is based more on pop culture than reality. Therapy is a time to air out concerns but also, to rebuild and strengthen bonds. Life gets hectic. We can lose sight of how important our partner is to us. The concept of “quality time” can get lost in the shuffle.

Setting aside time each week to meet in the presence of a mediator is a giant step toward relationship recovery, if you and your partner are ready to begin working on your relationship you can contact me through this website or you can book an appointment online.