What is body Positivity and how is it damaged?
Body positivity is a powerful movement that advocates for self-love, acceptance, and respect for all body types. It is one of the modalities I use for treatment of eating disorders, embracing body positivity can be transformative, fostering a healthier relationship with one’s body and self-image.
Body shaming occurs when you or someone else criticizes your physical appearance. When you look in the mirror and let negative self-talk win, or when you let someone else influence your self-esteem with their negative words, it can be hard to handle. Body shaming is purely physical. It’s often rooted in unrealistic ideals we have about what our bodies “should” look like and can make it hard to be positive about your body.
What if we kept track of where the most criticisms originate? The odds are, our inner voice would win in a landslide. This isn’t another chance to blame ourselves. Rather, we must recognize that lots of factors go into creating the critic in your head. For example:
- Family interactions
- Early friendships
- Societal pressure and conditioning
We all have a critic in our head. He’s sort of like a social media troll. At first, you may try engaging him. Then maybe you attempt to ignore him. At some point, the only self-loving choices are unfriend and block. But then what?
Tips to Overcome Body Shaming
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Replace Negative Self-Talk
If you’re the one doing the body shaming, consider where the negative self-talk stems from. What are you telling yourself, and why? The next time you have a negative thought about your body, write it down. Then, try to reframe it with a positive view. For every negative thing you say about yourself, combat it with something positive.
If someone else is body-shaming you, the same approach can still apply. Focus on your strengths and the things you like about yourself. For every physical criticism someone else offers, counter it by thinking of a physical attribute you like about yourself.
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Look Beyond Your Body
People get so caught up in body shaming because they aren’t looking at the whole person. You are so much more than your physical appearance, no matter what your own negative thoughts or someone else’s harsh words might indicate.
Again, focus on your strengths. What are your best qualities? Are you funny, kind, and loyal? Pay more attention to those amazing attributes than whatever you look like on the outside, and you’re likely to be more confident and secure in who you truly are.
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Practice Self-Care
One of the best ways to fight back against body shaming is to take care of yourself. Self-care is a wonderful way to boost your self-esteem and self-worth. When you take the time to value your body — inside and out — words won’t hurt as badly.
Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or elaborate. It’s as simple as getting enough sleep each night, maintaining a healthy diet, and staying physically active. For your mental well-being, try things like journaling, mindfulness, and meditation.
The Health At Every Size (HAES) initiative
The Association for Size Diversity and Health created the Health At Every Size (HAES) initiative — a game-changing concept with the following principles:
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Weight Inclusivity
Perhaps self-explanatory, this principle challenges the aesthetic and medical demonizing of specific body shapes and sizes.
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Health Enhancement
The idea here is education. Our society needs and deserves health policies that give us all access to a full range of information. We also need “fake news” debunked as it pertains to our health. Individuals have the right to better understand personal health on all levels — from physical to mental to spiritual and beyond.
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Respectful Care
So many aspects of pop culture play a role in our biases. We often cannot even identify why we hold certain beliefs and buy into particular stigmas. Respectful care is a way to recognize and challenge our exclusionary biases. It also teaches us to better comprehend the role of social dynamics such as Socio-economic status, Gender, Sexual orientation, Race and Age.
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Eating for Well-Being
Each year, it feels as if different foods move magically on and off those unproven lists of those deemed good or bad for us. We end up eating to satisfy faulty standards to impress others with their own pre-conditioned biases. Imagine instead we eat for our personal well-being. It’s not about weight control but rather, we focus on Nutritional needs, Food preferences, Hunger patterns and Portions that satiate our hunger.
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Life-Enhancing Movement
Physical activity — of the healthy, non-obsessive variety — can play a pleasurable role in making peace with our body. Regardless of our size and abilities, we can enjoy and benefit from the gift of movement.
Why do we need initiatives like Health At Every Size? We are overwhelmed with a blend of questionable advice and societal pressure. We’re not only pressured to maintain a specific body type and weight. But, in addition, if we succumb to this pressure, we are subject to suggestions that may lack medical support or lead to forms of disordered eating .
7 Self-Loving Ways to Friend Your Body
1. Start sleeping together
Maximize that cuddle time. Set up some steady sleep habits and stick to them. Your body needs its beauty rest so be a good friend and make it happen. Sleep is the foundation for physical and mental fitness. Your inner critic does not stand a chance when you and your body get those eight hours!
2. Become workout partners
Without exercise and activity, your body will not thrive. Find something that lights you up and gets you started. From Crossfit to yoga and beyond, learn to love sweating together. Also, throughout your day, take stretching and movement breaks. Friends don’t let friends spend too much time seated and slumped over a screen (desktop, laptop, or phone).
3. Plan, cook, and eat meals as a team
The best recipe for friendship involves many ingredients. What you eat is a big one. Food choices impact all aspects of your health. Eating the right diet for you brings out the best in you.
4. Help each other pick out clothes
Your style can change how you see yourself and your body. You deserve a wardrobe that makes you feel good about you—and your body. This doesn’t mean flashy or expensive. It’s more about individual choice and expression. Celebrate your unique frame and features.
5. Talk openly about sexual issues
In today’s hookup culture, sexuality has been hijacked by porn-fueled confusion and coercion. Neither you or your body will feel good about choices that involve compromise or manipulation. Sex can be important but not just any sex. Show your body the respect it deserves.
6. Offer support and comfort
What are friends for if not to be there when things get rough?. When you choose to friend your body, this means through thick and thin. Sometimes literally. Commit to this friendship. Commit to yourself.
7. Don’t forget to party!
All work and no play? You know the rest. This isn’t an excuse to be irresponsible. But it is an invitation to appreciate the moment. One of the best things about close friends is the fun times you share and the memories you create.
For those times when you don’t actually want to friend your body…
The enduring power of your inner critic can make it difficult for you to be friendly to your body. It’s as though You see that friend request sitting there. You really want to accept. But so much conditioning gets in the way. This is a great time to remember that you’re not alone. Working with a therapist is usually considered a mental health step. But having an ally and confidant can be a huge step towards empowering you to friend your body and open your mind to all it has to offer. If your body image issues are tied to an eating disorder, then as a certified eating disorder specialist I can help you deal with the issues you face and help you to love your body again.
