No matter how much you prepare, it will still come as a surprise. When you start a family, you get much less time to focus on yourself. Of course, this can be balanced out by so many joyful family experiences. Still, that doesn’t cancel out the reality that you must prioritize self-care.
You’ve got doctor’s appointments, school visits, dance recitals, and soccer practice. Who has the time, right? Actually, if you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, you’ve got to find the time. As impossible as it may sometimes feel, you can keep that family connection strong while still nurturing and taking care of yourself.
Self-Care May Cause Guilt… at First
You have needs — emotional, physical, spiritual, and social. But, for a wide variety of reasons, you may feel blocked from moving them up on your priority list. It could be a pattern you’ve had since your childhood. Your challenge, as your responsibilities mount, is to break this cycle of guilt. Stop getting in your own way and calling it “being a good parent or spouse.”
Spoiler alert: To be the best possible parent and spouse requires you to be the best version of yourself. To achieve that level, in turn, requires you to practice daily self-care. It’s a common comparison (but for good reason) to liken this to the oxygen mask rules on a plane. Parents and adult guardians are told to don the mask first so they are better positioned to help others.
5 Strategies to Maintain Family Connection & Still Take Care of You
1. Make Healthy Eating Choices
This doesn’t mean you don’t occasionally have a treat. It’s not a “diet.” The idea is to create a lifestyle. Fuel yourself and your loved ones with healthy, nutritious, and delicious meals. Get everyone involved by planning out some family meals. Shop, cook, eat and clean up together to get the full experience.
2. Exercise and Physical Activity — Every Day
Get your heart rate up. Break a sweat. Feel your muscles pump. Find the activity or exercise that lights you up and go for it. It will fortify your body and relieve your stress. Bring the entire family in on the action with ideas like:
- Group stretching class in the living room
- Pick a sport to play together
- Take a brisk walk as a family
- Run relay races in the backyard
Exercise will get you healthy and bring you closer when you do it as a team. It’ll also support your sleep. Speaking of bedtime…
3. Keep Regular Sleep Patterns
This can be a tough one depending on your family obligations and your work schedule. Do everything in your power to create a reliable bedtime routine — for all of you. Value quality sleep and lead by example. Show your family how seriously you take your sleep.
4. Venting Sessions
Everyone gets frustrated or anxious at times. Set up a regular session where you and everyone in your family gets the floor for a time. Talk about your feelings. Learn the importance of self-reflection. Get in the habit of helping each other through tough times. Praise loving honesty and don’t be afraid to reveal some vulnerability. It’ll be a wonderful lesson for your children.
5. Dedicated Family Time
We already talked about cooking, eating, and exercise. But you can also play games, watch movies, look at old photos, or do crafty things. Set a rule that everyone — adults and children — must power down their devices and fully participate.
Relationships of all kinds can be incredibly draining, and time-consuming, no matter how satisfying or rewarding. Don’t expect to have all the answers. Simply open your mind to the idea of support and a safe space to take some time for yourself.
Individual therapy can help. If you are feeling overwhelmed and disconnected, let’s talk. Contact me to set up a free and confidential consultation when you’re ready.
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